Metalcatto
When you see artwork like the one in Umulamahri’s Learning the Secrets of Acid, you might start wondering just how hard your face is about to melt. Will you even feel anything by the end? Calling this project Avant-Garde Disso-Death is almost an understatement. Its sinister and experimental nature promises a lot, especially since the minds behind it are masters of their craft. Now that I’ve set your expectations sky high, it’s time for this album to crush you, devour your carcass, and show us exactly what kind of secrets this substance holds.
If you were expecting a happy or psychedelic trip from Learning the Secrets of Acid, you’re in for a brutal awakening. This is what happens when your acid trip goes horribly wrong—when you’re slowly paralyzed, terrified, and no one can help. Sure, Umulamahri plays in the Disso-Death and unconventional arena, but what really stands out is how well it channels existential dread into something raw and unsettlingly relatable. Many of us turn to Metal for intensity, but let’s be honest, it rarely scares us anymore. This album might just change that, because it delivers moments of pure terror that are disturbing in a way most extreme records can’t quite reach.
The guitars are twisted, the drumming is punishing, and the vocals sound straight from the pit. Forget conventional song structures—the influence of Pyrrhon is clear. If you’re already feeling lonely and depressed, this might be too much, but I know that saying so will only make some of you want it more. Interestingly, the production sits in a surprisingly healthy place: chaotic and abrasive, but not flattened into a brickwall. That’s a feat worth acknowledging, because Umulamahri manages to capture everything we love (or hate) about Disso-Death, but with a sinister twist that feels genuinely fresh.
So, what’s there to dislike? Aside from the obvious fact that this is niche, deviant music? Sometimes I wanted the band to go even further into chaos. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t one of Pegah’s Funeral Doom darlings, but there are moments when I craved an even bigger mess. And while I feel weak for admitting it, I missed even a faint glimpse of melody somewhere. Many albums in this scene give you at least a fleeting melodic phrase in the closing tracks, but here? Nothing. No folk detours, no calm interludes—just unrelenting agony, misery, and addiction. It’s suffocating, but maybe that’s the point.
If you’re ready to learn why drugs are bad the hardest way possible, then Learning the Secrets of Acid might be the most educational trip you’ll ever take. Honestly, instead of telling kids that drugs are bad, they should just make them listen to this on repeat. Worst case scenario, they’ll get into extreme Metal instead of meth. And honestly, wouldn’t the world be a better place if that were the case? A cat can dream…
Label: Ordovician Records
Release date: 1 October, 2025
Website: https://umulamahri.bandcamp.com/album/learning-the-secrets-of-acid-2
Country: USA
Score: 3.7/5.0, but it’s hell in a good way
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