Sometimes at MER, we need a break from all the monkey howling and the buzzing chainsaw guitars. We need to connect with our spirit animal (probably one of these). That’s why we have room for old-school Heavy Metal/Hard Rock bands like Christian Mistress, a band that’s essentially rising from the dead with its latest album, Children of the Earth. In our niche scene, we’re used to bands taking long breaks between albums—after all, nobody’s making money out of this “business”—but that doesn’t mean we can’t get excited and have expectations, right? Let’s dive in!
Children of the Earth is an infectious, light, and entertaining listen that can charm you with its hippie magic any day. Having a bad day? It can cheer you up. Having an awesome day? Then, it’s the perfect soundtrack. Sure, it’s retro, and if you were born before 1990, you’ve heard it all before—especially if you love 70s British Classic Rock. This album will transport you back to those times of naive fools thinking they could bring peace with love, rather than with the straining and Machiavellian pressure of mutual trade agreements that ensure codependency. But I digress.
I enjoyed the warm and colorful production here, as well as the catchy guitar solos and the thick basslines. It’s all simple, almost poppy, but effective in conveying its message. However, the vocals truly steal the show—not because they’re particularly “nice” (there’s nothing wrong with them, relax!), but because Christine Davis has excellent enunciation, which is rare in a world where vocalists often sound like they’re gurgling spit into a microphone. It truly helps us get lost in this mystical narrative. Even your casual friend can actually understand what they’re saying.
That said, Children of the Earth isn’t my usual cup of blood. It’s fun and feels like good music for the people, but I’m a misanthropic bastard, and I long for inaccessibility—things that make me go, “Oh, what was that?” Here, everything follows tradition and Rock N’ Roll sensibilities, which will resonate more with the indie-leaning parts of our community but might appeal less to those lost in the pit of extreme music. Additionally, I feel the first half of the album is more engaging than the second half, though that might just be my decaying attention span.
Even after these hiccups, I’d dare to say that if you long for simpler times—when we lived on the edge of nuclear war rather than the edge of environmental catastrophe—then Christian Mistress has created something with its own identity, without veering into disgustingly nostalgic territory. It’s not revolutionizing the subgenre, but I’m sure it has its place and time. And that time is whenever you feel like it.
Label: Cruz Del Sur Music
Release date: 28 February, 2025
Website: https://christianmistress.bandcamp.com/album/children-of-the-earth
Country: USA
Score: 3.3/5.0 why not?
Metal Eclipse Reviews 