Metalcatto
Sludge Metal sometimes doesn’t even feel like Metal. Maybe it’s because the fanbase seems so far removed from the usual extreme lore that I often forget these releases even exist. However, Ghold looked like a band that deserved some attention, and with a title like Bludgeoning Simulations, I was left wondering if it was going to be ultra-violent or just a parody of the normal beatdown our ears get at MER Industries. There was only one way to find out — by clicking that shady link!
This album gives me mixed feelings. On one hand, it’s as Sludge and Stoner as it gets (we spend a long time wanking the instruments in a drugged-out haze), but when it decides to speed up, the music actually shines with fun, YOB– or Sleep-like rushes. If the band focused solely on those intense, immersive moments, I’d be fully on board. However, the contrast between those peaks and the slow, wandering sections is massive — and that kind of balance requires masterful writing to stay engaging. That’s where things start to blur for me.
The production, though, is genuinely solid, and the vocals are a pleasant surprise. Most Sludge bands sound like they grabbed the nearest drunk uncle to growl whatever substances allow him to tonight. But in Ghold’s case, everything fits together much more harmoniously, which makes those long tracks far more tolerable. The band clearly has potential, and the ambition here is undeniable. However, let’s jump to the part where I make enemies — because unlike Ghold, I’m in a rush today.
There’s really no way to sugar-coat it: the album is long. Too long. Track after track, they only seem to get longer and less active. I love experimental work, but that doesn’t mean you get to push the same button for ten minutes straight. Don’t get me wrong — it sounds good, even hypnotic at times — but my mind tends to drift elsewhere halfway through. Bludgeoning Simulations could benefit from some editing and from leaning more into its aggressive side. The individual parts are excellent, but the writing can be too stationary, leaving me wondering whether I should finally get checked for ADHD.
Still, if you want to get high on something safe, Ghold offers an experience that’s risky without sounding like it was recorded under a burning bridge. The band dares to experiment and succeeds at moments, even if it drags its feet along the way. But if, like me, you prefer your Metal to punch you right back into your traumas, this probably isn’t the trip for you. Twenty-minute songs at mid-tempo are not for the faint of heart.
Label: Human Worth
Release date: November 14, 2025
Website: https://ghold.bandcamp.com/
Country: UK
Score: 2.5/5.0
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