About

Do you think you know Metal and can write well? Mail us! We’re hunting for new talent!

Who the catto is, is not important. Just someone trying to share their love for Metal and everything related to it. We can’t guarantee that all the promos we receive will be reviewed. Sometimes fate will decide who gets to be in or not. I know it sucks, but so does life. However, if you’re still interested in sending us a promo or contacting us for constructive reasons (notice I said constructive), leave us a message. If you’re too lazy or too distracted to see the sidebar, our mail is metaleclipsereviews@outlook.com (this is also our Paypal mail, just saying!).

We have full reviews and mini-reviews. Who gets what will depend on time, chance, and the capricious willingness of our writers. Since nobody gets paid much here, we can’t demand anything (that donation sidebar looks tempting now, right?). We also have a section named True Kvlt, where readers and followers send us their work, and we judge it in front of the cruel world. However, if that’s not enough for you, we have The Feedback Forge, where Patreons/contributors give us “incentives” to write a full review (it’s still brutally honest, don’t worry!). Interviews and LP issues will depend on the opportunities we get. We also write satirical poetry, where we write edgy Metal lyrics for laughs.

I know promoters, bands, and fans love scores, but this system is completely broken in our music style. It’s either too negative or too positive, and it can turn political fast, which is why all our scores are memes. We’ll never give a 5/5! Not because we’re cool, but because fives are decided by history and the people, not our snobbery. There are still some numbers at the end of each main review because I understand our lives are stressful, and we need to play the game.

We’ll do everything we can to resist the greed of covering this Metal sanctuary with trashy ads. However, donating whatever comes out of your cold heart will help us in this battle. Also, we’re looking for collaborations and sponsorships, of course! If you’re a small business or artist and think we can serve the Metal community together, then let’s talk money! I have kittens to feed. Also, be nice in the comments section or your comment will never see the light of day…

We write reviews, but we’re not reviewers. We’re not here to tell you what sucks or what rocks. Great critics teach you how to appreciate art, and if we manage to do that, I’m happy. I want you to become infected by the germ of curiosity and find gold in the coal mine.