Suffering so you don't have to!
Metalcatto
Messticator has a curious name. It reminds me of how you say “chewing” in Spanish, or something fancy in Italian. Anyway, that’s kind of the feeling Total Mastery is aiming to portray—as if we’re getting run through a digestive system and then disposed of without further thought. Hence, you can expect this to be heavy, brutal, and whatever other generic hyperbolic word you think of. Just add it here. Let’s start.
Metalcatto
I think I’m right on time for the Phasma party. It’s probably going to be the opposite of chilled, but we’re not here to enjoy relaxing stuff, unless your definition of relaxing is getting thrown in a barrel down a waterfall. Purgatory isn’t for the noobs. It’s not even for the experienced, but that doesn’t mean it’s good right away. That’s why I’m here to give a smug opinion about it. Preferably read it while you listen to the thing at the same time.
Metalcatto
With a band name that would make you think of Stoner Rock or your last visit to the dentist, Lord of Confusion sounds nothing like either. Their album The Weight of Life is in principle an eclectic work trying to live in that space between Doom and Post-Metal, which means things are going to move slowly, but toward the most comforting kind of anxiety one could have. That made no sense, so let’s get to it.
Metalcatto
There are many bands named Worm, Wormed, or something like that. I can’t keep track. They also don’t tend to have artwork that looks straight out of 1995. To make matters more difficult Foreverglade is a hard act to follow. Hence, I was ready to skip Worm. However, you people online, with your unqualified hype, convinced me to give this album a chance even if I’m late. So here I am, trying to see if your taste changes my mind.
Metalcatto
I was planning to review some Thrash to bring balance to the force, but no, I didn’t feel like it. Transilvania‘s new Black/Thrash album, Magia Posthuma, will have to do then. It has everything needed to deliver that killer combo many bands attempt but few pull off with real success. It’s hard to balance aggression with nasty production without sacrificing writing quality, but let’s get to it and hope for some headbanging.
Metalcatto
Necrogore arrives on our doorstep bearing one undeniably edgy album title: Ectoplasmic Rape Phenomena. If you happen to be a committed materialist like me (and yes, this is my genuine epistemological position), then this name reads as utterly ridiculous, hilarious nonsense. If you’re a normal, well-adjusted adult, your eyes probably rolled hard into the back of your skull at first glance. But I’m here to answer a more important question: does the album deliver something as heinously depraved and unhinged as its title promises? Let’s keep our fingers crossed and find out.
Metalcatto
You could certainly argue that my Doom Metal bias leans heavily toward the most depressing and suffocating end of the spectrum. I don’t cover enough Epic Doom, and that’s a fair criticism. But let me pose a question: what if you didn’t have to choose between crushing depression and epic grandeur? What if an album could be simultaneously brutal and majestic? Can that even work? I honestly didn’t know, but that was precisely the proposition Mammon’s Throne put forward with its new album, My Body to The Worms (an uplifting title, right?). My only real hope was that this wouldn’t simply be a carbon copy of Hooded Menace—I mean, just look at that artwork!
Metalcatto
There are two certainties when it comes to Greek Black Metal: the artwork is going to be visually arresting, often steeped in occult symbolism, and the distrust for religious institutions will be off the charts. Decipher has built a reputation as a consistent band within this fertile scene, and if its new album, ΘΕΛΗΜΑ, is anywhere near as accomplished as Arcane Path of Resurrection, then the band would have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Or is it? Cringe and Black Metal have always shared an uneasy, intertwined history, but let’s descend into the darkness and find out.
Metalcatto
Depression! Now that I have your attention, I know you might be wondering if In Ruins‘ album artwork does justice to the music contained within. Just look at it; I haven’t seen such genuinely miserable, hollow faces since the Soviet Union was still a functioning state. That is precisely why this new album, We Are All To Perish, should hit us harder than discovering our favorite band is playing in town only to find tickets sold out in seconds. Anyway, dry your tears elsewhere, because we need to review this agonizing ride.
