Suffering so you don't have to!
Alright, my beloved readers (I’m in a good mood, so you get some love for once), it’s time to dig into the depths of the underground and dish out the love—or hate—these submissions deserve. You know the drill: some of these bands are working with the production value of a 2009 smartphone short film, but who cares? We’re here for what’s true and kvlt, not for petty concerns like beauty, right? Let’s get this firing squad ready!
True kvlt is back! I just had to wait until there was enough material and the release schedule had slowed down a bit, but don’t think I’d forgotten about you, my dear readers and musicians hungry for new sounds. You crave the chance to be that one hipster, who in 10 years will say, “I knew them before they were cool, now they suck!” And you’ll have us to thank for that. Today, we have a fresh collection of bizarre bands, and as you know, the weirder, the better. Let’s dive in!
It’s Sunday again! Which means the deepest and filthiest corners of the metal underground get a chance to throw us a few bones. You know how it is: we’ll review almost anything here—even your bedroom synth project. However, we can’t guarantee our words will be flattering. You send your stuff at your own risk! Either way, this week we have some new and old faces from across the metal spectrum. Are you ready? Because I’m not!
Welcome back! Last week, we took a break from the never-ending battle—the one we can never win. No, it’s not the war on drugs; it’s the battle to review all the underground releases we get every week. We’ve reached a stalemate with the internet, but that can’t last. So, this week, I’m not slacking and will keep up the good fight. Today, we have bands that surprised me—without this section, I would’ve never sought out these experiences. The same could be true for you, my dear corpse-painted child. A good reason to keep reading.
What if I told you that sometimes, in this section, we feature fresh releases? As in, they’re not even out yet. I picked three for today, and the best part is that they’re so different from each other, mixing them up will feel like eating jelly bathed in chicken fat with a touch of cinnamon. Absolutely disgusting, right? Well, I promise everything here will be far better than whatever atrocity you just imagined. As usual, give them love or give them hate—but please, give them something!
Hi there, my fellow basement-dwellers! We’ve had another interview, but this time, we’re aiming to educate you a bit, especially you, our musician demographic that needs to learn how to take care of your body since four energy drinks mixed with donuts are no healthy dinner. We’ve got Gunn-Hilde Erstad from Rendezvous Point, who happens to be a PhD candidate researching physical performance in musicians. But enough talking, let’s hear from her!
I know what you’re thinking: these aren’t exactly deep underground releases, but the rawness of some of them undeniably earns them a spot here. Rarely do we come across releases that sound so tvre while being this professional! (There’s a lot of French Black Metal, so I had to do a bit of digging into some criminal records—you know how it is in that scene.) Next week, we’ll be back to spotlighting what you, our loyal readers, have to offer. In the meantime, try to enjoy this eclectic group of bands that range from basement Black Metal to politically charged MeloDeath/Folk. Let’s dive in!
This is the week of second chances at True Kvlt. Since we’re running out of deep underground links, the bands that asked for more stuff to be reviewed will get a second chance to sell their goods. Don’t you love us for being merciful and dedicated reviewers? Who else does this for the underground without making a dime? (Should we change that last part?). Too many questions that you didn’t come here for, so let’s give you some albums, EPs, singles, and whatever else is left in the fridge at 3:00 a.m.
This is going to be a weird True Kvlt because I’m running out of super underground releases. Don’t worry, we’ll ask the mighty forces of the internet to feed us more. The battle for exposure is never over, and we fight to the bitter end, because while we might be insignificant in the vastness of space, that doesn’t mean we have to feel that way! Let’s start!
What started as a cheap PR tactic has become a beloved part of this forgotten corner of the internet (MER). Here, you—the people—send us your work, and we give you a platform so you can brag to your friends and family that you’re now a musician someone writes about. As usual, we’ll give you a bit of praise and a bit of critique. Things we liked and things that… could improve (I sound like your boss now, right?). Time to start!
Metal Eclipse Reviews 